I thought I’d have something really profound to say today. I’ve had 6 months to think about today- Hazel’s due date. Which probably would’ve been earlier than today (Graham was almost 3 weeks early) but it’s the day every parent dreams of. The finish line of the race.
I should be in pain from your 10cm exit wound in my abdomen but instead the pain resides in my chest where my love for you grew from the second I saw that second line and then went and dumped that Spotted Cow in the drain after I decided to check a couple days early and was shocked it was positive.
I read something recently that said what if we said all the things at funerals at birthday parties? Don’t leave anything unsaid. I’m sorry we didn’t get to celebrate you while you were here. That society has shoved pregnant women in a “box” just in case you lose a pregnancy before it’s “safe.” That you might lose a pregnancy so you shouldn’t tell people. That’s utter BS. The reality is there’s really no safe zone. I’ve read more than my fair share about that. As someone who has experienced this you need everyone in your corner supporting you following pregnancy loss.
A handful of people knew about you but more people knew about you afterwards. I’ve spent the last 6 months trying to process everything. In reality it will probably take a lifetime. Hazel, thanks for dropping by me on Monday ❤️.